How To Ease Your Toddler’s Separation Anxiety?

Does your young child fuss when you leave the room, or cling when you return? She may be feeling separation anxiety. Separation anxiety varies greatly between children. Some infants, for instance, develop hysteria if they have to wait even a few minutes until they see mum again. But some kids seem to have separation anxiety from birth through preschool.

For parents, it can be comforting to think about how helpless we'd be as carers if our kids didn't want us close. Having strong bonds with others is what keeps us together and makes us feel at ease. Negative emotions like longing and fear of being apart might enter the mind through the portal of attachment. Preschool children and toddlers also come have shyness characteristics that make them unreliable while receiving care from everyone else.

By the time they are six months old, children with good brain development have settled on a single primary caretaker.

The child will start to reject unfamiliar people and exhibit clear preferences for certain people.

Nature has programmed children to be wary of strangers as a means of ensuring they stick with the ones entrusted with their care.

What is the best method to provide for children in the face of the inevitable separations that are a part of daily life if children are designed to desire their parents and avoid care from adults who are not their parents?

Define Anxiety Upon Parting Company

Leaving a child to daycare or with Grandma is a difficult goodbye for any parent. Your young child probably gets the concept of object permanence by now. This is the belief that things exist even when they are not directly perceived. However, young children have no idea of time. They won't know the difference between being left alone in a bedroom for a couple of minutes and being left with a caretaker for a few hours. Because toddlers typically think their very lives depend on their primary carer, this can be very unsettling for them.

Anxiety might, paradoxically, be an indicator of a child's growing independence. They wish to exercise authority and have formed their own perspective on the matter, which is that the parents shouldn't go.

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Facts About Separation Anxiety

So you never need to learn the hard way, here are some facts concerning separation anxiety and some methods for making the changes easier:

Infants: 

A child's awareness of object permanence is a crucial step in the emergence of separation anxiety. Your baby may become restless when he realises you're not there. While some infants show signs of cognition and anxiety as earlier as 4 or 5 months, most don't really start to suffer from it until they're approximately 9 months old. When your baby is hungry, weary, or sick, it might be more difficult to say goodbye. If you're having a rough day, keep transitions brief and consistent.

Toddlers: 

Rather than experiencing separation anxiety as infants, many toddlers don't start displaying difficulties until they're around 15 or 18 months old. Children are more difficult to separate from when they are hungry, exhausted, or ill, which is pretty much the entirety of toddlerhood. Toddlerhood is a time of great growth and change for children, and as they learn to take on more responsibility, they may become more sensitive to separations. As a result, during recesses they will be disruptive, emotional, and difficult to control.

Preschoolers: 

Most youngsters have a firm grasp of the impact of their separation anxiety or pleading by the time they are three years old. They may be anxious, but they are eager for a change. Don't give in to your child's separation anxiety by cancelling plans or returning to the room every time they cry. Consistency, explanation, and returning when you say i will are of the utmost importance.

Why Do Toddlers Get Separation Anxiety?

It's possible that the following situations could cause separation anxiety in young children and toddlers.

Saying Goodbye: 

Every new obstacle can be stressful for toddlers since they are trying hard to gain autonomy over their bodies. So, they have mixed feelings about leaving the safety of their parents. Young children need to know that you will always return from wherever you go.

Large Gatherings: 

Your young child may experience increased anxiety when you take them to a large event because they worry about being separated from you.

Going to Sleep: 

Since this is usually the longest periods of alone time your toddler regularly experiences, leaving her in her bed at night or for an nap can induce concern.

Separation Anxiety Symptoms

Most cases of separation anxiety occur between the ages of 8 and 18 months. The departure of a caretaker is often associated with the onset of symptoms. In an effort to prevent the parent from leaving, a child may exhibit clinginess, tantrum behaviour, or resistance to alternative carers. Fear and agitation are also common reactions when he is left alone, such as when he is put to bed or when he is dropped off with daycare while his parents are elsewhere.

The tantrums typically calm down after the caretaker is out of sight. Dr. Boyd-Soisson explains that this apprehension serves a protective purpose by keeping the youngster close to the carer.

How to Survive Separation Anxiety

Establish Hasty Farewell Customs.

Keep the parting short and pleasant, even if it means using major league baseball-style hand gestures, giving triple kisses so at cubby, or giving a special blanket or toy. The time it takes to make the change increases if you dally. Indeed, worry will increase as well.

Maintain coherence.

If you can, keep the routine of dropping them off at the exact time and place every day to minimise the impact of any unforeseen circumstances. Your child's trust in her own abilities and in you can grow at the same time as her comfort with a routine that helps her feel secure.

Care: Pay close attention to your child and show them love and affection as you set boundaries. You should go swiftly, regardless of her behaviour or how much she begs you to stay.

Keeping your word is very important.

If you keep your word and come back when you said you would, your child will learn to trust you and become more self-reliant.

Provide details like a kid.

Give your kid comprehensible details when talking about your return. Say something like, "I'll be back after bedtimes and before afternoon snack" if you know you'll child back by 3:00 p.m.Tell him how to measure time. Make reference to "sleep" while describing your return from such a work trip. Say, “I'll be home in three shifts of sleep” instead of “I'll be home in three days.”

Get used to being alone.

Send the kids to visit Grandma, set up some weekend play dates, or ask for some help with child care from friends and relatives. It's a good idea to get in some practise with dropping off and picking up your child from daycare or preschool before the big day arrives. Allow your kid to get used to being without you and to learn and grow as a result!

Recognize the child's need to feel loved and secure, and meet that need as best you can. Spend some time getting their undivided attention. Their emotional needs in relationships are best met by those who provide them joy and affection. A stronger bond with a baby will prepare them to become autonomous adults who can cope with increased isolation.

Don't try to change their behaviour or drive a deeper wedge between you by imposing strict rules on them.

Whether it's constant parental pursuit or sudden nighttime anxieties, it's important to remember that these are only the child's way of coping with a more serious issue: their inability to cope with separation. A child's emotions and behaviour will be more difficult to handle if punishment methods like time outs and penalties heighten the sense of separation.

Relationships and the means by which we maintain them must be emphasised.

Construct a Virtual Bridge to Eliminate Isolation!

Although there may be obstacles too large to traverse, such as work, bed, and school for our children, a bridge's purpose is to unite opposite sides. The remedy for disconnection is the very thing we should be concentrating on. In spite of our differences, it is important that our children still have a sense of belonging to our family. Instead of dwelling on the impending separation, we look forwards to the next hello by discussing the activities that you two will share once your return from work or the preparations for the next day. You can think about how you will see them in your thoughts or how soon you will be able to visit them again.

The preschooler can have a memento of you or you can connect with them during the day over lunch.

Help the child feel comfortable with their new carers by playing matchmaker.

Young children naturally gravitate towards their parents, although we can take heart in the fact that they are capable of developing relationships with others as well. Due to their reserved nature, we need to formally introduce kids to the persons we intend to care for it. We must not leave the future of these partnerships up in the air, but rather prime it by demonstrating our approval of the couple's love.

You can do this by making a warm introduction, highlighting shared qualities and interests, and letting the other person know how much you appreciate and trust them. Children are naturally devoted to their carers, so showing them that you enjoy their company goes a long way towards winning their trust.

Tears of Missing is something you should encourage and support.

The brain's own mechanisms for discharging pent-up emotional energy in the form of tears. Crying isn't a bad thing, then, because it helps when the void feels too great to bear. The availability of a safe adult for a youngster to cry on or run to for solace is crucial. If they know they can rely on their caretaker during this difficult time, it will help them adjust to being apart from their parents.

It's best to keep goodbyes short and sweet. Always prepare your child for the arrival of a babysitter or the person you are leaving her with, but keep your goodbyes short. She will start to worry if you exhibit worried behaviour or constantly coming back for more hugs. Make it clear that this separation is very temporary and nothing to worry about.

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Create a routine to follow when leaving the house. Creating even a short routine for said process can help.

Possible Response: "After a long day at the office, Mommy will come pick you up. What can I say?" Give your kid a kiss and a hug, and then head out the door. By maintaining a consistent pattern of farewells, you ease the discomfort of going from having you around to missing you. Get something planned out. Before handing your child over to a sitter or childcare provider, make sure they have something fun planned.

Keep her busy with a slapping game or her new toy so she doesn't dwell on the idea that you have to leave.

Just because she's worried doesn't mean you should ignore it. Your kid may be experiencing separation anxiety; try to acknowledge this. In this context, you might say, "Even though I know you'll have a wonderful visit with Grandma, it's okay if you find yourself missing me. If you want to get a big embrace from Grandma, tell her how much you miss your mum." Keep an eye on your kid at parties with plenty of people. It's best not to force your kid into social interaction when you enter a room full of strangers.

Just hang around till he starts interacting with other people, but don't just vanish when he starts being entertained by someone. It's possible that he'll agree to be held by something, but then reject the idea a few minutes later.

If he starts to grow upset, be prepared to grab him; pushing him too far will only make the next group activity more difficult. And if you do wind up having to have your kid close by your side the whole time, don't worry about it. You're not incapacitating him; rather, your encouragement will prepare him to thrive in future interactions with others.

Prepare a Calming Evening Ritual for Bedtime.

Create a soothing routine leading up to bedtime, such as a warm bath following by a reading or some music. This will help her gradually prepare for bedtime. Hold your youngster tenderly and play calming music or a CD of ocean. Pantley claims that doing so will muffle the silence of her room while you're away.

After she wakes up from her nap, you can trust her to handle things on her own. Don't interrupt her fun in her crib if he awakens up from a nap.

Allow your kid to enjoy themselves while having some time to themselves. Once she realises she can do things without aid, her sense of self-reliance and independence will soar.

Supporting Kids Through Separation Anxiety

There are numerous things you can do to help your child overcome separation anxiety.

In New Places

• Spend time with your child at the child care centre, daycare, friend's house, or babysitter's home before leaving them there. If your child is placed in a secure, familiar environment with people he knows and trusts, he will be less likely to experience any anxiety.
• Permit your kid to bring along a comfort item from family, like a stuffed animal, blanket, or pillow. Your child will feel more secure with these items, and you can remove them one by one as she gets used to her new environment.
• Communicate your child's separation anxiety to his or her daycare, preschool, or school. This will allow for your child's extended support system to provide him with stable encouragement.
• Foster your child's independence by giving her opportunities to experience being alone with you. It's crucial to offer her happy memories of parting and coming back together. Avoiding giving your kid a break may make things worse.

When You're Leaving Your Child

• Always let a child know how long you will be gone and when you will return. Even infants can benefit from this. Avoiding a proper farewell by sneaking out is risky at best. Your child may be more difficult to calm the next time you have to leave him because he will likely feel confused or unhappy without you.
• Make sure your kid is occupied with something they'll enjoy before you head out the door.
• Keep your goodbyes short and sweet with your kid.
• Just remember to keep that carefree, cheerful expression on your face as you head out the door. Your youngster may feel unsafe and react negatively if you project an air of worry or sadness.

At Home

• Avoid being negative or critical of your child's separation anxiety, no matter how irritated you are. Don't make comments like "She's such a mummy's daughter" or "Don't be such a baby," for instance.
• You can help your youngster overcome separation anxiety by reading aloud or making up stories about characters who are afraid to be apart from their parents. He was terrified of what lay beyond the entrance to his burrow. Your youngster may find comfort in knowing that other kids have separation anxiety, too.
• Give your child lots of praise and encouragement when she shows courage by playing apart from you in order to boost her confidence.

When Does a Toddler Get Over Their Fear of Being Left Alone?

While a child's separation anxiety often lessens with age, it's possible that they could experience relapses for temporary reasons. However, separation anxiety can resurface in older toddlers and preschoolers when they are ill or under a lot of stress. Two-year-olds who have been attending daycare for some time, for instance, typically behave well when their parents depart.

Nonetheless, it is not unusual for children to hang to their caregivers at drop-off when they are feeling sick or stressed. This is perfectly natural and will go away as the child matures. There is no universally accepted timeline for the onset or resolution of separation anxiety in children. Anxiety in children can last for weeks or months, so parents should expect a setback if there is a disruption in the child's routine, such as during a transfer, an illness, or a vacation.

When Should I Start to Feel Concern?

Despite the fact that it can be difficult to hear a youngster cry, it's important to keep in mind that separation anxiety can help the child in the long run: It's a sign of a secure link between a caretaker and their child. Even so, keep an eye on your kid to determine whether her separation anxiety seems excessive. Consider the circumstances your kid is experiencing. Is there, for instance, a problem with the child's care facility or with the parents?

If this is the case, separation anxiety could become even more severe. Get in touch with a paediatrician if your youngster is experiencing severe symptoms like persistent vomiting or a lack of appetite.

Everyone with a day job, especially parents

Conquering separation anxiety requires forethought, smooth transitions, and the passage of time. When we leave our kids behind, it's not just them who suffer; the parents do, too. How few of you have felt like you were "doing it all correctly" when your children clung to your legs, sobbed to you to stay, and mourned the parting even though you knew they would stop sobbing within minutes of your departure?

Concerns about their children's well-being due to separation raise issues for working mothers. Even though separation anxiety is a perfectly typical behaviour and a wonderful evidence of a strong attachment, it can nonetheless be incredibly disturbing for anyone experiencing it.

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Conclusion

There is a genetic predisposition for separation anxiety in some newborns and toddlers. Feelings of sadness and dread at being separated may arise. A child's growing sense of autonomy is paradoxically reflected in their increasing levels of anxiety. Some information about separation anxiety and how to cope with it have been provided below. Separation anxiety can manifest in some infants as early as 4–5 months.

Toddlers go through a period of rapid development and change. They may feel more emotional about being apart from loved ones as they mature and learn to take on more responsibilities. Intractable emotional and behavioural disturbances are possible results of separation anxiety. A child's first experience with separation anxiety often occurs between the ages of 8 and 18 months. When children are abandoned, they often react with clinginess, tantrums, and anger.

Build a Digital Tunnel to Connect People Worldwide. Take the kids to see Grandma, schedule some play dates for the weekend, or recruit some neighbours to watch the kids while you're out. Building a solid attachment with a child helps them grow independent, confident adults who can handle spending more time alone. You should back the organisation Tears of Missing. Children are loyal to their carers, so if you want to earn their trust, it helps to show that you love spending time with them.

Before a babysitter or other caretaker arrives, make sure your youngster is ready. It's not a good idea to dismiss her concerns since of course she's scared. Be aware that your child may be suffering from separation anxiety. Make sure she has a relaxing routine before night, such as a bath, some music, and a book to read. Even in older toddlers and preschoolers, separation anxiety can reemerge when they are sick or under a lot of stress.

No one can say for sure when a child's separation anxiety will begin or end. If the child's routine is disrupted, as can happen during a move or an illness, parents should brace for a setback.

Content Summary

• Perhaps she is suffering from anxiety related to being apart from you.
• On the other hand, kids that age don't really grasp the concept of time.
• Separation anxiety develops in stages, and one of these is when a youngster first realises that objects have a life of their own.
• If your child suffers from separation anxiety, you should not give in to their cries by cancelling plans or constantly returning to the room.
• Situations like the ones listed below may trigger separation anxiety in infants, toddlers, and preschoolers.
• A child's first experience with separation anxiety often occurs between the ages of 8 and 18 months.
• When the caretaker leaves the room, the child usually stops throwing a fit.
• Have the kids stay with Grandma, arrange for some weekend play dates, or enlist the support of a relative or friend who can watch them.
• Give your child the gift of independence so he or she can grow and develop to their full potential.
• Recognize the significance of making the youngster feel safe and loved, and do everything you can to fulfil that desire.
• Get their complete focus by talking to them for a while.
• Play matchmaker and help the youngster feel at ease with their new carers.
• You should back the organisation Tears of Missing.
• Always get your child ready for the arrival of the babysitter or person you will be leaving her with, but make your goodbyes brief.
• At gatherings with many guests, it might be easy to lose track of a child.
• In this way, she can ease into getting ready for bed.
• Give your child permission to relax and have fun alone.
• Say your goodbyes to your child quickly and affectionately.
• No one can say for sure when a child's separation anxiety will begin or end.