manage anger

How to Help Your Toddler Manage Anger?

Table of Contents
    Add a header to begin generating the table of contents

    Any parent of a toddler knows that they are capable of experiencing and expressing a wide range of feelings. It's possible that they'll be giddy with delight one moment and completely lose it with anger the next. Regrettably, toddlers are known for their tendency to have tantrums.

    Your toddler is more independent than they were when they were a newborn, but they still can't speak for themselves and have limited control over their surroundings. Because of these causes, people may feel a great deal of irritation, which may quickly escalate into rage.

    Most toddlers outgrow their temper tantrums as they mature, improve their ability to communicate, and develop tolerance. You can help your child learn to control their emotions and avoid tantrums until they reach this stage.

    Frustration and rage in a youngster can be difficult for everyone involved. Some young people have a low tolerance for frustration. They become irrational over relatively little matters. To put it simply, they are shouting. It's possible they'll start acting violently.

    It is crucial to educate your child healthy coping mechanisms for anger if he or she has furious outbursts, especially if their anger negatively impacts their relationships & quality of life.

    Professional mental health guidance may also be helpful.

    The detrimental effects of rage can be mitigated or eliminated altogether if we instruct our children can recognise and manage their anger.

    Kids need to learn to stand up for themselves without resorting to aggression, and to communicate their feelings and ideas openly and calmly.

    Fortunately, there are tried-and-true methods, and just like any other skill, they benefit from regular practise.

    Looking for a car seat for your baby? Look no further. My Baby Nursery have a wide range for you to choose from.

    Aggression in Childhood

    Tension and "acting out" in early infancy is often a primary consideration for many parents. Even if parents know they need to provide for their child, it's not always obvious what that support should be. It's a good idea to put a stop to violent actions like punching and biting. It is, nonetheless, crucial to instruct young people in the art of emotion and decision management.

    The lacking piece of the solution is to help the children seek new and better methods to communicate their feelings, which is more important than simply eliminating the biting and punching.

    Did you know that as a parent, you have the power to influence how your child reacts to traumatic experiences?

    Instilling in your child the ability to recognise and cope with negative emotions is a crucial part of parenting.

    what is a montessori floor bed for a baby (2)

    What Motivates People to Act Aggressively and How to Deal With It

    Aggression in young children is not indicative of poor parenting or misbehaviour. In contrast, aggressive behaviour is an indication that a child requires supervision and guidance. Because aggressive behaviour in children rarely occurs outside of stressful situations.

    Aggressive behaviour in young children sometimes stems from emotional distress, such as impatience, agitation, melancholy, or anxiety.

    It's possible that your child may go through a range of feelings before she resorts to physical force, such as hitting or biting. feelings that can't be reasoned with.

    The part of a child's brain that regulates their reactions and outbursts is still developing normally.

    Children, through no fault that is their own, often act rashly, especially when they are experiencing strong emotions. It's not uncommon for someone to grab, strike, bite, or kick out of the blue.

    Why We React Calmly or Aggressively Depends on Our Ability to Control Ourselves

    Aggression in children less than 10 often stems from anxiety and poor impulse control.

    To practise self-regulation, one must be able to reflect on their own thoughts and actions and adjust them accordingly.

    For instance, you may ask for a toy instead of grabbing one and dumping it on the floor.

    Children learn to self-regulate over time, which is crucial for their mental health. While it's impossible to force a child to develop a certain skill, you can certainly give them every advantage.

    A child's ability to manage himself or herself is paved by the parents' example and the language they use with their offspring. Because of the opportunity you have to teach her how to self-regulate, the way you respond to your child when she is acting out might have a profound effect on her future happiness.

    Toddler Anger Symptoms

    When toddlers are frustrated or angry, they often throw tantrums. According to research conducted by the Yale University Child Study Center, children under the age of four may have as many as nine tantrums every week. By both the time they arrive kindergarten age, most kids have outgrown these tantrums.

    In young children, anger and tantrums can manifest in a variety of ways.

    • yelling, wailing, biting, kicking, stomping, pulling, pushing, punching, and hurling

    These tantrums are usually outgrown as toddlers' emotional regulation and social abilities mature. On the other hand, teaching kids effective methods of dealing with their feelings can be beneficial.

    Do I Need to Worry About My Kid's Anger?

    If you are concerned about your kid, you might want to consult with their doctor

    • Your child has frequent furious outbursts throughout the day, and their tantrums tend to persist for lengthy periods of time, despite your best efforts to control their behaviour. You worry that they may cause harm to themselves or anyone during tantrums.

    Factors That May Cause a Toddler to Have a Tantrum

    If a toddler's needs aren't met, or if they aren't able to explain what they want, they may become angry and act out. It's possible that:

    • feeling hungry or fatigued not being able to express desires or emotions when playing with a sibling or other youngster not receiving a desired item while playing with a product or completing a difficult-to-understand task

    A child's propensity for wrath and tantrums may increase if he or she is also dealing with any of the trying to follow:

    • The effects of early life stress
    • differences in temperament
    • genetics, ecology, and the dynamics of families
    • Pedagogies for Parents

    What You Can Do to Help Your Child Handle Anger

    In between ages of one and three, your child will make great strides in adaptability and language development. Potential anger-inducing situations could be mitigated as a result. By the time they're four years old, most youngsters have developed more capacity for cooperation, emotional expression, and the use of both fine and gross motor abilities.

    While you can't stop time from passing, there are ways to assist your child cope with frustration and temper outbursts. There's a chance that some will work better than others for your kid. It's possible that strategies that worked with your other kid or the kid of a friend or relative won't be as effective with this one.

    What's more, techniques that were effective during one tantrum may not be as effective during another.

    The first thing you should do if your kids are having a tantrum is make very sure they are not a threat to themselves or others. When toddlers throw a fit, they frequently have trouble keeping their bodies still.

    Moving them to their bedroom at home or indeed a quiet area distant from autos and plenty of foot traffic when you're out may be the best option. The following are some techniques for dealing with a toddler tantrum once the child is safe:

    what happens if baby hits head in crib (2)

    Get Ready, and Help Your Child Get Ready

    It's possible that you'll be able to identify some of the triggers that cause your youngster to act out.

    Try to put yourself in your child's shoes and ask, "What can I do too help my child navigate this situation well?" How do I recognise the warning signs so that I can intervene in my child's life before it's too late?

    By maintaining a positive frame of mind, you can always be ready to help others and engage with them in a kind and helpful manner.

    Avoid placing guilt upon yourself and your child and instead focus on learning as much as you can so that you can guide them through this difficult time.

    It's important to keep in mind that providing counsel proactively requires no more time or energy than addressing an issue after it has already developed.

    Empower Your Child by Helping Them Understand Their Emotions

    When children have difficulty identifying and articulating their emotions, they are more prone to act out violently.

    When a child is frustrated yet unable to express their feelings verbally, they may act out physically. For example, a toddler who is too young to understand or express their emotions could act out in order to obtain your attention.

    Feeling words like "angry," "sad," "glad," and "scared" are excellent starting points for helping your youngster learn to recognise and name his or her emotions.

    It appears like you feel aggrieved right now," you can tell your youngster to describe how they are feeling. They will eventually be able to identify and name their own feelings.

    Teach your child increasingly complex emotion terms like annoyed, disappointed, concerned, and lonely as they mature in their ability to recognise and express their own feelings.

    Make a Temp Gun

    Tools like rage thermometers can alert parents to the warning indications of escalating anger in their children. Create an enormous thermometer on a sheet of paper. The temperature scale should read from zero at the bottom to ten at the top.

    A reading of 0 indicates that the person has no cause for rage. With a score of 5, you'd say you're "moderately angry," and a score of 10 would indicate "very angry."

    If your kid isn't in a particularly bad mood, you can use the time to explain what happens at each temperature reading on the thermometer. A youngster may claim to be happy at level 0 yet show signs of anger at level 5.

    At the age of 2, they may notice that their face is getting hot, and by the age of 7, they may be clenching their fists. One could feel like a raging beast by the time they reach the number 10.

    Kids can learn to recognise the signs of anger by using a thermometer.

    Eventually, they'll make the connection that pausing can help reduce anger as it begins to rise.

    Create a Relaxation Strategy

    Instruct young people on how to cope with anger. If kids get frustrated, instead of throwing blocks, they can go to their rooms or a "calming area."

    If they are feeling upset, have them colour, read, or do anything else relaxing while they feel better. One option is to put together a "slow down kit" for yourself or someone else. Coloring books and crayons, a decent book to browse, stickers, a beloved toy, and a pleasant-smelling lotion are all great options.

    You can tell them to "Go grab your calm-down kit" if they start to get irritated. Doing so teaches your kid to rely on oneself when they need to relax.

    Develop Your Capacity to Control Your Anger

    Helping a youngster who struggles with anger can be facilitated by instructing them on effective strategies for controlling their emotions.

    By taking a few deep breaths, for instance, your child's agitated body and mind can relax. You might also try going for a short stroll, count to 10, or repeating a positive phrase to yourself.

    In addition to teaching how to restrain one's impulses, it's important to instil a sense of self-discipline. For some children, learning and practising these abilities to deal with their emotions takes a lot of guidance and instruction.

    Fake it till you make it; don't go in to storms.

    At times, children learn that expressing their frustration verbally is the best way to get our needs addressed. If a youngster throws a tantrum and his parents respond by giving them a toy to calm them down, the child will likely conclude that tantrums are effective.

    To avoid a tantrum, resist the urge to give into that your child. While giving in may alleviate stress in the short to mid term, it will only exacerbate aggressive behaviour and other behavioural issues as in long run. Rather, focus on building a relationship with your kid so you can both relax knowing their demands will be satisfied.

    Do not back down from enforcing penalties.

    Helping your child realise that aggressive or hostile behaviour is wrong requires consistent discipline. Always make good on the threat of a punishment if your child disobeys.

    Discipline methods such as time-out and the removal of privileges can be quite efficient. Have your youngster assist fix things or complete duties to earn money to pay for it if he or she smashes something while furious.

    Stay away from Media That Promotes Violence.

    You should avoid showing your aggressive child violent media like TV episodes or video games. Give kids plenty of opportunities to observe positive conflict resolution modelled in media.

    Motivate Individual Control Through Understanding, Acceptance, and Venting Emotional Stuff

    We already established that hitting and biting are indicators of existential anguish and a lack of self-regulation skills.

    In the early years, parents have the unique opportunity to teach our children healthy coping mechanisms and effective communication skills by serving as positive role models.

    Strive for calmly stopping the needless behaviour when a child lashes forth, has a meltdown, or acts aggressively, but don't neglect to address feelings. After the dust settles, pay attention to your youngster again. Allow your youngster time to feel and process their emotions.

    All of those feelings, from sadness to anger to frustration, deserve to be experienced fully, and this time is provided. When it comes to learning to control one's emotions, this is crucial.

    It has been shown that children benefit from learning how to self-regulate when their parents model this behaviour (i.e., are warm and responsive and enable their children to express their emotions freely).

    The psychological health of a child can greatly benefit from having parents who are this kind and nurturing.


    When children are feeling frustrated, angry, or disturbed, it is crucial that they be able to express those feelings in a healthy way.

    Games that encourage physical activity, such as roughhousing, chasing, and pillow fights, help children burn off excess energy and reduce the likelihood of biting, punching, and other aggressive behaviours.

    Tumbling, horsing, and chasing all assist children develop skills that can be applied to resolving conflicts without their peers.

    When kids play, they get the closeness they need to you, which strengthens your bond with them and your capacity to guide them.

    Put Your Mind to a Workable Strategy

    It's tempting to expect good behaviour from kids. However, unintended consequences are possible. Talks like "We're meeting up with a playgroup, and you need to bring your A game. Avoid physical contact at all costs.

    To avoid raising your voice, please. Please refrain from theft "although well meaning, they highlight the wrong kinds of actions. Alternatives that emphasise a CAN DO strategy are highly recommended. It could go something like this:

    • If you want my assistance, come to me.
    • Certainly let the instructor know if you're struggling.
    • If you're feeling down, you can talk to me.
    • If you need a moment, we can certainly take one together.

    Your baby will feel more comfortable coming to you for help when her emotions get overpowering if your strategy is positive and does not include any form of punishment.

    Find Creative Methods to Correct Misconduct

    Preschoolers don't have the cognitive maturity to understand the point of discipline. So they rely on you to aid them and protect them.

    Isolating a child or taking away a prized possession can be shocking and frightening, especially for a young child who is struggling to cope with their feelings. It's crucial to prevent and correct harmful behaviours like hitting and biting, but it's more effective to assist your child learn to control his emotions through different methods of discipline than than through harsh punishment.

    We now know, after many years of study, that children learn best when they love their carer and feel protected especially when they are allowed the freedom to make errors and grow from them.

    By responding to children's violence with punishment, we are ignoring the fact that it is a symptom of unfulfilled needs and complicated emotions.

    Simply putting a halt to the behaviour without also teaching the youngster to cope with their emotions is like driving on a flat tyre.

    You'll keep going as long as you keep rolling, but the car isn't built for such a journey.

    Punishment as a last resort for aggressive behaviour

    Strategy for Relaxation:

    Don't assume your kid will know what to do or where to turn when they're feeling overwhelmed.

    Taking Some Me-Time

    Be patient, sit down with your kid, and figure out how to guide them towards better decisions.

    Sucking Your Chest Out

    Reducing anxiety in children can be as simple as teaching them to breathe like a bunny or a lion.

    For fun, you can play these kinds of games with your child, and then you can use them later on when they're experiencing strong emotions.

    Create Images

    Picture prompts like "How big is your anger?" and "How big is your fear?" can be a good way to get kids talking about their emotions and the positive actions they can take to address any negative ones.

    Possessing a "Wheel of Option"

    Wheel of Choice is a technique from Positive Discipline that allows you to show your child that there are other options besides hitting and biting when they're frustrated, such as cuddling a teddy bear, talking to mum, or squashing play-dough.

    Infants and young children frequently engage in biting and hitting.

    Children learn to regulate their emotions over time, even if their parents are initially overwhelmed, anxious, and even humiliated by their actions.

    Overcoming impulsive esponses takes time, practise, and most importantly, loving direction from you, just like learning to walk, consume from an open cup, handle a spoon, or ride a bicycle.


    Over time, as they learn to express themselves better and become more tolerant, most toddlers grow out of their tantrums. Counseling from a trained mental health professional could also be useful. If your child frequently explodes into fits of rage, it is important to teach him or her effective methods of dealing with that emotion. One of the most important things you can do as a parent is teach your child to recognise and manage their negative emotions. Young children's aggression is not necessarily a sign of bad parenting or bad behaviour.

    Tantrums are common in children under the age of four, with as many as nine occuring weekly. As children get better at managing their emotions and interacting with others, they typically outgrow their tantrums. Most children have established the ability to work together, show their feelings, and use their fine and gross motor skills by the time they are four years old. Helping your youngster handle frustration and outbreaks of anger is possible. A toddler who can't yet articulate their feelings may resort to tantrums to obtain your attention.

    Help your child feel more independent by teaching him or her to recognise and label their feelings. Rage thermometers are a useful tool for helping parents see the early signs of their children's anger rising to dangerous levels. Using a thermometer, kids can learn to recognise the indications of anger. When the number is zero, the person has nothing to be angry about. You'd rank yourself as "moderately angry" with a 5, and "extremely angry" with a 10.

    A youngster may learn that tantrums are effective if their parents give in to them and give them a toy when they throw one. It is important to provide children with ample media examples of healthy dispute resolution. Improve Self-Regulation by Facilitating Introspection, Acceptance, and Release of Emotional Clutter. Children in preschool don't have the mental capacity to comprehend the value of discipline. As a result, they are counting on you to help and safeguard them.

    Playing active games like tag, chase, or pillow fights might help prevent violent behaviours like biting and hitting. It takes time, practise, and loving leadership from you to overcome impulsive responses. Typical behaviours of infants and toddlers include biting and punching. Even if their parents are first shocked, scared, and embarrassed by their children's behaviour, children eventually learn to control their feelings.

    Content Summary

    • Unfortunately, young children are notorious for their temper tantrums.
    • Your child can learn to manage their feelings and delay the onset of tantrums with your guidance.
    • If your child suffers frequent outbursts of rage, especially if it causes problems in his or her relationships and daily life, it is important to help him or her learn effective ways to deal with anger.
    • One of the most important things you can do as a parent is teach your child to recognise and manage their negative emotions.
    • However, aggressive behaviour is a sign that a child needs care and supervision.
    • As violent behaviour in children is uncommon unless there is some kind of stress involved.
    • Important for their emotional development, children learn to self-regulate as they mature.
    • The way you react to your child when she is acting out may have a significant impact on her future happiness because of the chance you have to teach her how to self-regulate.
    • Despite the fact that you can't turn back the hands of time, there are steps you can do to help your child handle feelings of frustration and outbursts of anger.
    • Once the youngster is in a secure environment, try some of these methods for calming down a tantrum:
    • Prepare yourself and your child.
    • You may be able to pinpoint certain situations that set off undesirable behaviours in your child.
    • Teach young people healthy ways to handle their anger.
    • Instilling a sense of self-discipline is just as crucial as instructing on how to control one's urges.
    • If your youngster is throwing a tantrum, resist the temptation to give in.
    • Give your child time to experience and sort through their feelings.
    • Avoid assuming your child knows how to calm down or where to turn when they are feeling stressed.
    • Using the Positive Discipline strategy of "Wheel of Choice," you can show your child that there are other ways to deal with frustration besides hitting and biting, such as holding a stuffed animal, chatting to mum, or squashing play-dough.
    • Typical behaviours of infants and toddlers include biting and punching.
    • Eventually, kids will learn to control their feelings, even if their antics initially cause their parents a lot of stress, anxiety, and embarrassment.

    FAQs About Toddler Anger Management

    Helping toddlers with emotional regulation and working through anger and frustration. Most toddlers can be aggressive. Biting, kicking, pulling, shoving, hitting and throwing things like their toys and food are very common behaviors among children in this age group.

    One common trigger is frustration when a child cannot get what he or she wants or is asked to do something that he or she might not feel like doing. For children, anger issues often accompany other mental health conditions, including ADHD, autism, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and Tourette's syndrome.

    When a child has anger issues, their behavior impacts everyone around them. They may throw themselves on the ground and pound their fists or lash out at anything within reach. Your child may throw toys or look for something to hit or break while they are angry.

    Calmly and firmly explain the consequences if they don't behave. For example, tell her that if she does not pick up her toys, you will put them away for the rest of the day. Be prepared to follow through right away. Don't give in by giving them back after a few minutes.

    Ignoring, distraction and encouraging empathy can help discourage negative behaviours. Positive reinforcement and focusing on your child's good behaviour is the best way to guide your child's behaviour. Setting rules and being consistent with age-appropriate consequences is important.

    Scroll to Top