strict

What Are The Signs That You Are Too Strict With Your Child?

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    A lot of parents are afraid of upsetting their kid by being too strict. Do you ever wonder if you're being too hard on the kid? Are you concerned that you may have unrealistically high goals? Do you ever second-guess the severity of your discipline methods for your kids?

    It's acceptable to have a child of five years old put away their footwear. Requiring that they always keep their closets' shoe racks neat and tidy? It's possible to be too strict.

    Your goal is to be firm with your children, but you don't want to be unreasonable with them.

    Being overly strict with your child might have negative long-term effects, such as encouraging risky behaviours like drinking and smoking.

    Finding a middle ground between being overly controlling and slack will benefit your child and keep you from being constantly frustrated.

    You might be too hard on your kids if you treat some symptoms the way you treat them. Here are some warning signs that you may be too strict with your kid.

    What Is Tight Parenting?

    Restrictive parenting is setting unreasonable constraints on a child's time, activities, and choices. It is known by its stringent regulations and severe penalties for transgression.

    It is hard to define what defines a "strict" upbringing because there is no universally acknowledged technique of parenting. To other parents who take a similar tack, you won't come out as harsh because you share their perspective. Others, such as mums and fathers, may.

    Some Warning Signs That You Are a Rough Parent

    Possible that you're being overly strict with your child in an effort to keep them safe. Here are some warning signs of a parent who is too controlling:

    strict (2)

    Your Policy Consists of Virtually Nothing or Nothing at All

    While it's helpful to have rules spelt out, it's also important to keep in mind that authorities can and do make mistakes. Instead of adopting a stern stance on everything, it would be better if you showed some readiness to evaluate your child's behaviour in the context of what was going on. 

    When It Comes to Your Own Child, the Truth Might Be Hard.

    Although it is common for kids to embellish, research shows that kids who are punished harshly develop into expert liars. If you're too harsh with your kid, they can start lying to you as a defence strategy. Your kid has more limits put on him or her than most kids do.

    There’s No Shame in Enforcing a Set of Standards That Differ From the Norm.

    A sign that your standards are too high is if you routinely find yourself to be the strictest parent in the group.

    You Have a Low Tolerance for Silliness.

    The great majority of kids really enjoy goofy stories and games. You should nevertheless take the time to laugh and have fun every once in a while, despite the fact that such jokes will eventually get old and that being foolish will waste your time. Disappointment arises when other individuals fail to fulfil their obligations. Strict parents have trouble adjusting to new circumstances, such as classroom organisation or Grandma's approach to discipline. Kids actually thrive when they are exposed to multiple sets of adult rules and forms of discipline.

    You've Made a Very Detailed Set of Regulations

    Children whose parents have too many commitments rarely get to unwind. Children benefit from routines, but they also need free time to discover the world and play.

    Your Kid Probably Doesn't Get to Play Enough

    The children of overly-scheduled parents often have little opportunity to relax. Although routine is important, children also need time to explore and play on their own.

    You Never Take the Laws of Nature into Account.

    Certain parents are so set on their children never making a mistake that they'll do anything to guarantee it. But when young people experience the fallout of their acts, they usually grow from the experience. Which means you're a habitual nagger.

    Impish Nagging Prevents Kids From Taking Ownership of Their Behaviour.

    Constantly reminding your youngster to do things like homework or practise piano will not teach him or her responsibility.

    Giving Orders Over and Over

    It seems that no matter how many times you say, "Sit up straight," "Stop dragging your feet," or "Don't gulp your cup," your child will not listen. You'll have more influence if you wait to provide directives until after the most important issues have been addressed.

    You Don’t Exactly Provide Your Child With an Option.

    It's better than asking, "Would you prefer to put your stuff away first or make your bed?" Extremely strict parents are known to yell their rules at their children. Children are more likely to obey directions when they are given a choice between two acceptable alternatives.

    Kids Aren’t Allowed to Get Their Way, Ever.

    Insisting that their children follow a certain routine can sometimes stress on their nerves, even if the parents' intentions are good. The bed isn't made "correctly" or their dollhouse isn't played with "properly," and they won't let go until it is. At the same time as children need supervision from adults, they should be allowed to explore and use their own creativity.

    You Are Looking at the Finish Line and Not at Your Child’s Efforts.

    Generally speaking, strict parents are not the most laudatory of adults. For them, acknowledgement comes only with a state of near-perfection, not with any kind of effort. They may misinterpret your affection as being conditional on great accomplishment if you only praise them when they achieve certain goals, such as achieving a perfect score or winning the game.

    You Are Capable of Creating Astounding Threats.

    Though every parent has made an extreme dessert or threat at some point, strict parents tend to go over the top on a daily basis. They frequently threaten their children with drastic measures like, "Clean your room right now, or I'm putting all your toys in the trash!" When dealing with your child, make sure that any penalties are aimed at teaching them valuable lessons rather than punishing them.

    The Child Is Never Allowed to Choose Out Their Own Clothing by Themselves.

    The parent is likely to be too strict if they treat their child as though they were much younger or more immature than they actually are or if their expectations for the child's behaviour and reliability are out of line with the child's track record.

    Punishments you hand out last a lifetime When applied to children, discipline is more likely to have the desired effect when there is a clear cap on how long it can last.

    You Give Orders Without Checking to See If They Worked

    The guidelines are determined by you. The regulations are strictly off-limits for discussion. No one is allowed to offer an alternative course of action or provide an explanation as to why that regulation might not be practical. To be too severe, parents who forbid their children from talking to each other is a major red flag.

    There Is a Cost Associated With Getting What You Want.

    Although you may be the one making the rules, it's important that your child still has some leeway. Parents that don't give their children any say in major life decisions are being overbearing.

    The Repercussions Would Be Too Serious

    It would be excessive to punish a child for skipping a single curfew by keeping them indoors for the entire summer. In order to be effective, a punishment needs to be proportional to the severity of the offence.

    There Is No Correlation Between Action and Reaction

    If your youngster broke a window, a three-month restriction might not be enough of a penalty. If you really want to punish him, you should make him pay for the window out of his allowance.

    The Lack of Entertainment at Home

    Parents that are overly strict often only use discipline and never express joy or share jokes with their children.

    No Way Would You Ever Let Your Kid Hang Out With the Neighbourhood Kids.

    It's possible that fear of missing out (FOMO) contributes to children's anxiety. Isolating kids could hinder their development emotionally and socially. However, your failure to identify appropriate goals is a significant issue. Setting limits is fine, but they need to be appropriate for the child's age and level of development.

    Your Child Constantly Requests to Play at Other People's Houses Instead of Your Own

    The rules and, perhaps, criticism at your home will prevent anyone from having a pleasant time there. They are free to choose a different location if they so choose.

    Your Kid Is Shy About Showing Off Their Grades

    Your child may try to hide the problem from you if you threaten punishment if he or she comes home a grade lower than you expected. Being optimistic is helpful in finding a solution to the problem.

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    Your Child Has Been Making Dangerous Comments About Leaving

    When kids are constantly being criticised, it's natural for them to fantasise about leaving their current situation. Most of the time, when children disappear, it's because they're protesting their parents' authority.

    Your Child Never Hears You Express Emotion

    Most parents don't talk to their kids about the tough periods in their lives for fear that their kids may use it against them. Is that it? You're going to compel your kid to play the sport in which you once competed? I applaud your efforts to encourage physical activity in your child; nevertheless, in order for his participation in a given sport or activity to become a regular part of his life, he must first find it enjoyable.

    You are a Persistent Annoyance

    The best relationships between parents and children don't involve someone constantly nagging or reminding the other. If that's all you're doing as a parent, you might be crossing the line.

    Your Child No Longer Wants to Hang Out With You.

    A youngster may not feel comfortable talking about problems to their parents if they are raised by overly strict parents.

    Your Kid Never Gets a Break

    As a parent, you are probably being too demanding if you schedule your child's entire day around school and extracurricular activities. Young people need individual time to cultivate their interests.

    When It Comes to Your Kid, You Act Coldly.

    You can't put a price on the amount of love and care you have for your child. Being overly strict often has a negative knock-on effect of coming across as rude. When there is trust between parent and kid, punishment can really take hold and stick. Creating a household where everyone is accepted and respected will help your kids feel closer to you.

    You Have Too Many Restrictions

    You are being too strict if your regulations make it impossible to ensure that everyone follows them. It is suggested that fewer rules be implemented and maintained consistently. It's essential that promises be kept.

    Your Threats Are Extremely Unreasonable.

    Discipline measures such as threatening to throw away their toys or exclude them from the house are ineffective. A child's "fine" is usually a sign that you should cave in to their demands. By making empty threats to your child, you have taught him or her to disobey. Give it some thinking before listing the consequences.

    What You’ve Established as Guidelines Goes Much Beyond What’s Considered Normal for Parents.

    Parents can and should set limits for their children to ensure their safety, success in school, and healthy development. The child's private life, however, may not require rules like which instrument they must study.

    Parents and children often disagree on the appropriateness of discussing certain things, especially when it comes to moral or safety issues.

    Some parents may feel they need to limit their children's exposure to certain genres of music because of the content of the lyrics.

    Meanwhile, some young adults may insist that it's all subjective. The haziness of some boundaries necessitates an open line of communication and careful consideration of all factors before a decision is made.

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    The Unconditional Nature of Your Love Is a Myth.

    Statements like "I always love you, although I expect you to behave this way" or "I know one can do better" are what you should be looking for. Avoid saying, "You're garbage if you don't behave this way," though. You would be hurting your child deeply if you did this to him or her.

    Be Mindful of What You Say.

    More important than how you express something is what you say. Even if your accent is mild, the words coming out of your mouth are still important. It's the meaning that counts, not the words.

    Simply Because You Don’t Make an Effort.

    If you have a lot to ask of your children, avoid using harsh punishments. You should actually join forces with them. A parent's efforts will pay off in the end if they put in the time now.

    You Always Have to Be the One to Keep Everyone in Check.

    You might be being overly inflexible if these are the only parenting practises you'll allow.

    When Your Child Makes Plans, They Don’t Involve You.

    If your child has suddenly become distant and unwilling to engage in meaningful conversation with you, this could be a red flag. However, even if you win, the fight may still be lost. They comply with your requests, but they keep quiet about their concerns.

    You Were Unable to Schedule Playdates for Your Children.

    Without exception, every kid wishes they could live in a household with rules. However, if you constantly remind the kids of the restrictions, publicly shame your kid, or ask intrusive questions, the kids may stop inviting their friends home.

    If kids at your house are comfortable enough to approach you and ask to play again, you've done a good job of making your home welcoming to them.

    You Don’t Listen to Your Child, You Merely Watch Them.

    Generation Z kids in the digital age want to be heard, and you're not being a good parent if you don't provide them everyday opportunities to do so. You are not obligated to take their advice. But if you let them vent, it could be productive.

    Your Kid Doesn't Get Enough Downtime.

    In order for children to synthesise what they have learned, they need peace and quiet.

    They may absorb information and knowledge like a sponge, but they won't know what to do with it if they don't have a practical application for what they've learned.

    No One Else Is Like You.

    Take advantage of other people's failures as a family as a learning tool. Not allowing your children any internet access, even when supervised by you, may be seen as overly strict.

    For You, Everything Else Is Off-Limits.

    You're allowing something to happen by your quiet, even though you don't approve of it. You may say something like, "I'd rather you didn't make this decision for these reasons." But if you insist on doing it anyhow, I may start keeping a closer check on you.

    None of the Rules Are Negotiable Under Any Circumstances.

    Having a set of rules to adhere to is crucial. The introduction of transparent, consistent regulations helps enhance predictability and expectations. However, a great deal of flexibility is called for in some situations. It's okay for your youngster to phone you up and beg for a ride if the designated driver is drunk and the curfew is midnight.

    Be Authoritative, rather than Authoritarian.

    You can definitely tell the difference. Parental authority is typically associated with a rigid upbringing and high expectations. When parenting their children, authoritative parents tell their kids, "My way or the highway," but loving parents never use such a phrase.

    Too much parental authority might cause a youngster to develop a lack of empathy and confidence. Authoritative parents know how to take care of their children while maintaining a strict but friendly demeanour.

    You Have the Same Frigid Demeanour of a Glacier.

    Having authoritative and loving parents is all that really matters. To put it another way, "if you are harsh and frigid," problems will occur.

    All Attention Is Directed Towards Instruction

    Overly controlling parents will often exploit any and all opportunity to teach their children a great life lesson. A child cannot colour an image without it being tested on the hues it includes, and a child cannot play with either a dollhouse without being reminded of the correct placement of the furniture.

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    FAQS About Parenting

    According to research published in 2012, children raised by authoritative parents have higher levels of self-esteem and quality of life than those raised by authoritarian or permissive parents.

    Strict parenting causes changes in children's brains that increase their risk of mental health issues, including depression, later in life, a new study says.

    Good parenting aims to develop in children character traits like independence, self-direction, honesty, self-control, kindness, and cooperation. To that end, good parenting creates a foundation for a child's healthy, positive development. Good parenting also involves parents living their lives as role models.

    Research studies on discipline consistently show that strict, or authoritarian, child-raising actually produces kids with lower self-esteem who behave worse than other kids—and therefore get punished more!

    Children and adolescents with anxiety disorders are more likely to be raised by non-authoritative parents (e.g. overprotective, authoritarian, and neglectful styles), who tend to employ exaggerated (e.g. preventing autonomy), harsh, or inconsistent control.

    Conclusion

    A lot of parents are afraid of upsetting their kids by being too strict with them. Being overly strict with your child might have negative long-term effects, such as encouraging risky behaviours like drinking and smoking. Research shows that kids who are punished harshly develop into expert liars. If you're the strictest parent in the group, then you must have a low tolerance for silliness. Extremely strict parents are known to yell their rules at their children.

    Children thrive when they are exposed to multiple sets of adult rules and forms of discipline. They also need time to explore and play on their own. Strict parents frequently threaten their children with drastic measures like, "Clean your room right now, or I'm putting all your toys in the trash!". Parents who don't give their children any say in major life decisions are being overbearing. Discipline is more effective when there is a clear cap on how long it can last.

    It would be excessive to punish a child for skipping a single curfew by keeping them indoors for the entire summer. Isolating kids could hinder their development emotionally and socially. Parents that are overly strict often only use discipline and never express joy or share jokes with their children. If you're constantly nagging or reminding your child what to do, you might be crossing the line as a parent. Being overly strict often has a negative knock-on effect of coming across as rude.

    Creating a household where everyone is accepted and respected will help your kids feel closer to you. If your child has suddenly become distant and unwilling to engage in meaningful conversation with you, this could be a red flag. You might be being overly inflexible if these are the only parenting practises you'll allow. If you constantly remind the kids of the restrictions, publicly shame your kid or ask intrusive questions, the kids may stop inviting their friends home. Overly controlling parents will exploit any and all opportunity to teach their children a great life lesson.

    Authoritative parents know how to take care of their children while maintaining a strict but friendly demeanour. To put it another way, "if you are harsh and frigid," problems will occur.

    Content Summary

    • Do you ever wonder if you're being too hard on the kid?
    • Do you ever second-guess the severity of your discipline methods for your kids?
    • It's possible to be too strict.
    • Your goal is to be firm with your children, but you don't want to be unreasonable with them.
    • Finding a middle ground between being overly controlling and slack will benefit your child and keep you from being constantly frustrated.
    • You might be too hard on your kids if you treat some symptoms the way you treat them.
    • Here are some warning signs that you may be too strict with your kid.
    • Restrictive parenting is setting unreasonable constraints on a child's time, activities, and choices.
    • Possible that you're being overly strict with your child in an effort to keep them safe.
    • Here are some warning signs of a parent who is too controlling:
    • While it's helpful to have rules spelt out, it's also important to keep in mind that authorities can and do make mistakes.
    • A sign that your standards are too high is if you routinely find yourself to be the strictest parent in the group.
    • You should nevertheless take the time to laugh and have fun every once in a while, despite the fact that such jokes will eventually get old and that being foolish will waste your time.
    • Kids actually thrive when they are exposed to multiple sets of adult rules and forms of discipline.
    • Children benefit from routines, but they also need free time to discover the world and play.
    • Although routine is important, children also need time to explore and play on their own.
    • Which means you're a habitual nagger.
    • Constantly reminding your youngster to do things like homework or practise piano will not teach him or her responsibility.
    • At the same time as children need supervision from adults, they should be allowed to explore and use their own creativity.
    • Generally speaking, strict parents are not the most laudatory of adults.
    • Though every parent has made an extreme dessert or threat at some point, strict parents tend to go over the top on a daily basis.
    • When dealing with your child, make sure that any penalties are aimed at teaching them valuable lessons rather than punishing them.
    • The parent is likely to be too strict if they treat their child as though they were much younger or more immature than they actually are or if their expectations for the child's behaviour and reliability are out of line with the child's track record.
    • The regulations are strictly off-limits for discussion.
    • To be too severe, parents who forbid their children from talking to each other is a major red flag.
    • Although you may be the one making the rules, it's important that your child still has some leeway.
    • It would be excessive to punish a child for skipping a single curfew by keeping them indoors for the entire summer.
    • In order to be effective, a punishment needs to be proportional to the severity of the offence.
    • If you really want to punish him, you should make him pay for the window out of his allowance.
    • Parents that are overly strict often only use discipline and never express joy or share jokes with their children.
    • It's possible that fear of missing out (FOMO) contributes to children's anxiety.
    • However, your failure to identify appropriate goals is a significant issue.
    • Setting limits is fine, but they need to be appropriate for the child's age and level of development.
    • The rules and, perhaps, criticism at your home will prevent anyone from having a pleasant time there.
    • Being optimistic is helpful in finding a solution to the problem.
    • Most parents don't talk to their kids about the tough periods in their lives for fear that their kids may use it against them.
    • The best relationships between parents and children don't involve someone constantly nagging or reminding the other.
    • A youngster may not feel comfortable talking about problems to their parents if they are raised by overly strict parents.
    • As a parent, you are probably being too demanding if you schedule your child's entire day around school and extracurricular activities.
    • You can't put a price on the amount of love and care you have for your child.
    • Being overly strict often has a negative knock-on effect of coming across as rude.
    • Creating a household where everyone is accepted and respected will help your kids feel closer to you.
    • You are being too strict if your regulations make it impossible to ensure that everyone follows them.
    • It is suggested that fewer rules be implemented and maintained consistently.
    • A child's "fine" is usually a sign that you should cave in to their demands.
    • By making empty threats to your child, you have taught him or her to disobey.
    • Parents can and should set limits for their children to ensure their safety, success in school, and healthy development.
    • If you have a lot to ask of your children, avoid using harsh punishments.
    • If your child has suddenly become distant and unwilling to engage in meaningful conversation with you, this could be a red flag.
    • They comply with your requests, but they keep quiet about their concerns.
    • Without exception, every kid wishes they could live in a household with rules.
    • However, if you constantly remind the kids of the restrictions, publicly shame your kid, or ask intrusive questions, the kids may stop inviting their friends home.
    • If kids at your house are comfortable enough to approach you and ask to play again, you've done a good job of making your home welcoming to them.
    • Generation Z kids in the digital age want to be heard, and you're not being a good parent if you don't provide them everyday opportunities to do so.
    • You are not obligated to take their advice.
    • Take advantage of other people's failures as a family as a learning tool.
    • Not allowing your children any internet access, even when supervised by you, may be seen as overly strict.
    • Having a set of rules to adhere to is crucial.
    • Parental authority is typically associated with a rigid upbringing and high expectations.
    • Too much parental authority might cause a youngster to develop a lack of empathy and confidence.
    • Authoritative parents know how to take care of their children while maintaining a strict but friendly demeanour.
    • Having authoritative and loving parents is all that really matters.
    • Overly controlling parents will often exploit any and all opportunity to teach their children a great life lesson.
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